Avoiding etc

I use to be so into writing in this. I guess thats when I figured I had some type of a life. Funny how one views things as time passes; what is huge one moment becomes nothing the next. I think I'm some type of drama queen, in that I love being in the middle of things when its just my friends and I. I hate being shy, but I can't seem to help it.

Thats annoying me. (big suprise eh? me annoying myself. you didn't see that one coming did ya?) Shit I want to do, ppl I want to go see and I won't let myself do any of it. (you can pay someone to come kick your own ass right? and not get arrested? guess that would be the nut ward for that one) I swear I'm building myself up to being able to go out and have fun. When I get skinny.. and not ugly.... and have a personality transplant :D Its a bit of money involved and working at CHC just doesn't cover that.

Not that I would ever do that anyways. I would feel like such a fraud. I mean really, they are looking at you and seeing something else, that you weren't born with. Its like playing dress up. Its not much of an accomplishment to all of a sudden be skinny. I have more respect for ppl 1k lbs than those ppl. Much easier to preach than to take your own advice though, isn't it? "Go out!!! Have fun!!! Do what you want! Me? yeah.. I'll just sit here and watch." /cough bullshit /cough

Anyways. guess I'll stop. In a bit of a negative mood, and I think its showing o.O

Regards, 2.9, and icecream

Nicole