Shit, forgot to name this ><

My best friend of 11 years has a birthday coming up. On March 3 she has asked me to go to bars with her and the next day has made plans of getting drunk at her families house. We haven't stayed in much touch these past four years; people grow up and end up going in different directions. She has a three year old and a 10 month old, both are little girls. Reighna Nakole is my God Daughter and partially named after me, though I think its WRONG that she only gets called Nakole (nicole) when she is doing something wrong. I figure that its gonna give her a complex about that name. This little girl is smart but she does have alot of attitude ><. I saw cloee for the second time the other day (see how much we see each other??), and she is the happiest little baby *big grin*. She smiled hugely at me and wanted to be held (most times I run the other way when babies are being passed around). I'm probably gonna feel a little out of place for a bit, but it'll go away when I get drunk enough. But thats the weekend after this upcoming one. This one contains my brothers 2nd 2nd marriage. Yes, I did mean to write that twice. My sister in laws mother doesn't know my brother is divorced or what day he got divorced (which was around 22 days ago). He was married to dawn on the 17th, telling her mom that they were getting married to quell his nervousness, at our work place in the back conference room. Only a few people know that and most are coming to the 'real' wedding done this saturday on the 25th. I was there for the one on the 17th and I'll be there for the one on the 25th if only to be able to show up at the reasturant with everyone later to get drunk off my ass (NO i'm not an alcoholic >< You just mention drinking a few times to ppl... geeze).

Nothing funny is going on in my life that I can really relate to you, most of it is spurr of the moment things that seem to slowly build up. You know, where you have to know the background information to find it funny? I'm still trying to lose weight; watching my diet, exercising and taking pills and its still slow going. Oh well, I'll make it there somehow.


anyways its all good, right?


Peace, adios, hasta luego and all the shit like that :D

nicole

/cry

Human beings, even those who are creatures of habbit, are ever changing. I dont' think anyone can help but change when faced with the differences of life everyday. The groundhog day universe doesn't exist. No day will continue over and over with ppl doing the same things.

So much is happening for me, though I could of sworn I was one of the few people from school that had not changed. I've grown some, but in the off shoot of that, I think its my outlook on people that has changed the most. I still care too much.

fuck. I'm writing in little fucking sentences trying to be all philisophical and I can't seem to get a fucking thing straight. I dont' know what I'm doing. I can't bring myself to work up in my job, won't go to school, and dont' let myself get in relationships. I have no direction to turn. I feel so abandoned but I also feel like I, myself, have abandoned the one thing that has kept me going before. My faith in god. Not that he doesn't exist, but that I haven't tried to keep contact.

I've started looking better at myself. Who cares if I'm fat? I'm tanner (thanks to the tanning bed), my butt is looking a little better because of the gym and I've been a bit happier. I swear I'm not bipolar... I swear it.... stick with me here. so I can stick with you.


anyways... My brother is getting married this friday. I so hope he's happy, I love him so much.
I'll get back on here and write about that when it happens.